Coffee makes the world go round
by Cerena Montanyu
Summary: My first Truth or Dare fic is actually funnier. This one is hardly funny 'cause I was high on coffee. In this party, Anju and Kafei are divorced, Ruto and Mikau have a baby, I torture Zelda, and I take over the world. It's NOT funny. I'll make a better se


cerena: WOWIE!!! I got 19 reviews for "The VErY Dangerous Game of...TRUTH OR DARE!!!", so...HERE IS ThE SEQUEL!!! It is suggested that you read the prequel, but it is not required to understand most of the jokes. REVIEW!!!   
  
  
Coffee Makes The World Go Round!!  
  
By: You-know-who (NO!! NOT VOLDEMORT!!! AHHHHH!!!!!)  
Really by: (In the words of Mikau) Some Cerena dudette.  
  
Disclaimer: Skull Kid I do not own. My delicious Mocha coffee I do not own (it was my mom's). The only thing I do own is... MY PICTURE OF SKULL KID!!!  
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Skull Kid: *Singing* In a world far, far away...  
  
Cerena: I REALLLY hope so...  
  
Skull Kid: *singing* There was a cute, cute, cute, cute, cute....  
  
Cerena: BUNNY!!!!!  
  
Skull Kid: *Stares at Cerena,but keeps on singing* Skull Kid and his girlfriend  
  
Cerena: Who, right at this moment, is a piece of cheese...  
  
Skull Kid: *Singing* Cheese...  
  
Cerena: Told ya.  
  
Skull Kid:*Singing* And they came up with a conspiracy (la la la)  
  
Cerena: *singing just as horribly as Skull Kid* To overpopulate the world with bunnies (la la la)  
  
Skull Kid: And to kill Zelda (la la la)  
  
Cerena: To eat Jabu-Jabu (la la la)  
  
Skull Kid and Cerena: And to take over THE WORLD!!!! (la la la)  
  
Cerena: But to do so... (la la la)  
  
Skull Kid: We must risk our lives (la la la)  
  
Cerena: We must play the VERY dangerous game of...(blah-blah- HEY!!! SKULL KID!!!)  
  
Skull Kid and Cerena: TRUTH OR DARE!!!  
  
Skull Kid: I'll send out the invitations.  
  
Cerena: I'll make Deku-scrub pie.  
  
Skull Kid: I'm inviting... fifteen people.  
  
Cerena: But DO NOT invite Zelda.  
  
Skull Kid; *whiny* But...then I have to invite...MIDO!!!  
  
Cerena: AAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!! He's even more arrogant than you are!!! (If that's even possible...)  
  
Skull Kid: *Writes invitations*  
  
Invitations: GREETINGS!!!  
  
To: Whoever is stupid enough to actually read this.  
  
What: Uh...I don't know... What are invitations usually for? Send 1 million bucks to   
Ha ha! You Must Be Stupid  
Doesn't Exist, Nowhere  
Get a Brain, NOW  
#^*($#^  
  
When: Whenever your freakin' life is over.  
  
Where: Inside a grizzly bear for all I care.  
  
What to bring: Your life. We'll be needing it.  
  
Skull Kid: PERFECT!!! *mails them*  
  
Mailbox: Am I invited?  
  
Cerena: Do you have a life?  
  
Mailbox: No...  
  
Skull Kid: I suggest you get one. They're yummy.  
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Link: OOOooohh!! This is how you take mail!!!  
  
Mailman: TAKE IT, YOU FREAK!!!  
  
Link: OWWWIEEE!!! I GOT A PAPER CUT!! MOMMIE!!!!  
  
Mailman: WHY AM I STILL HERE?!?!  
  
Link: OWWIEE- Oh, wait, that's just a sliver of red paper...  
  
Mailman: *Turns into a statue*  
  
Link: Alright. Wait...how do you take mail again?  
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Mido: YAY!!! I'm actually invited to a party!!!  
  
Saria: The person who arranged this party must be desperate...  
  
Mido: It's from Cerena and Skull Kid! I knew Cerena had the hots for me!!  
  
*Cerena shows up from the middle of no where and fries Mido*  
  
Cerena: *looks at fried Mido* Do you think he would be good in a pie?  
  
Saria: Yeah...That freakin' loser took MY invitation...  
  
Cerena: By the way, bring your fairy. We'll be needing it to take over the world.  
  
Saria: OOH!! Can I be Sage of Cheese?  
  
Cerena: Sure! *drags Mido away to put in pie*  
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Ganondorf: *in bottle, 'cause he melted in the last story* Let's see...Bill from Kill Link Incorporated, magazine from Hate Link Merchandise, package from 'Guns to Kill Link With', and...Oooh!! A party invitation!  
  
Mr. Poogles: I know you didn't ask me anything, but, y'know, I'm just going to go on and on like Saria's fairy, who, by the way, I'm having an affair with, cause for some reason, you are afraid of talking bears...  
  
Ganondorf: MOOMMMIIIEEESSS!!! HEEEEELPPP!! MY BEAR is TALKING TO ME!!!  
  
Ganondorf's moms: TELL IT TO SHUT UP!! WE'RE PLAYING VOLLEYBALL WITH A REPRUDUCTION OF LINK'S HEAD!  
  
Mr. Poogles: I know ya told me to shut up, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm actually Jake, Cerena's worst nightmare, even though I have the hots for her... I LIKE DRUMS!! (Sorry, Galaxy Girl!)  
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Darunia: This isn't funny, y'know!  
  
Cerena: Yah, so?  
  
Darunia: But I'm not coming to your party 'cause I HATE YOU!!!  
  
Cerena: *Makes sign to apparently no one* *singsong* I know what your worst nightmare is...  
  
Darunia: So?   
  
*Cerena sidesteps as a Writer's block falls on Darunia*  
  
Cerena: True, true. I have writer's block.  
  
Darunia: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! IT STINGS, MOMMY, IT STINGS!!! *cries*  
  
Cerena: *Puts the crying goron into a pool, where Darunia drowns in his own tears* Hmmm...I wonder if Goron is good in a pie? *Drags Darunia off where he is put into the deku scrub/Mido pie*  
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Skull Kid: Is our party starting yet?  
  
Cerena: No. Shut up.  
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Malon: *reads invitation* Ooohhh, Ganondorf is going to be there.... I LOVE TO TORTURE!!!  
  
Talon: Honey, are you Ok?  
  
Malon: OF COURSE I'M NOT OK, YOU FREAK!!!   
  
Talon: *whispers* Must be that time of month  
  
Malon: *In a robot voice* You...Must...Die...  
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Ruto: Oooh-  
  
Link: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO LET HER SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE I JUST WASTED A MILLION RUPEES ON GETTING A NON-EXISTING LIFE!!! AND YOU GUYS MUST LOVE TO TORTURE ME BECAUSE MY ZORA 'SELF' JUST MARRIED MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!  
  
Mikau: *uses his boomerangs to shoot Link's head off* Let's save our 'surprise' for the party.  
  
Cerena: I wonder if Link is good in a pie? *Drags Link off to be put in a Mido/Darunia pie*  
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Skull Kid: Now can we start the party?  
  
Cerena: As soon as my Link/Mido/Darunia pie is done.  
  
Link, Mido, Darunia: LET US OUT OF HERE!!!!!  
  
Cerena: It's done.  
  
*Doorbell rings*   
  
Skull Kid: Did you hear something, Cerena?  
  
Cerena: I thought I heard a squeak.  
  
Skull Kid: Weird...  
  
*Doorbell rings again*  
  
Cerena: There it is again...  
  
*Door bell rings AGAIN*  
  
Cerena: You did remember to remove the glue from the doorbell, right?  
  
Skull Kid: oops...  
  
*The door is chopped down by an axe-wielding Malon*  
  
Ganondorf: HEEELPPPPP!! MY FINGER IS STUCK TO THE DOORBELL!!!  
  
Mr. Poogles: Didn't anybody hear? Dorfie's finger is stuck to the doorbell! That reminds me... I LIKE GLUE!!! Also... Somebody rescue Ganondorf! And... GLUE IS YUMMY!! Don't forget... RESCUE DORFIE!!! Plus.. GLUE I- *is whacked on by Cerena*  
  
Cerena: Hm...I wonder if stuffed bears are good in pie... *drags Mr. Poogles away to put in pie*  
  
*Ganondorf is left outside with his finger stuck to the doorbell*  
  
Ganondorf: HEY!!! COME BACK WITH MY TEDDy BEAR!!! Oops...  
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Skull Kid: Welcome everyone!! *Gets a bunch of rotten vegetables in the face*  
  
Mikau: I mean, Whazzup dude?  
  
Darunia: *from inside pie* WHAZZUP!!!  
  
Mido: *from inside pie* WHAZZUP!!!  
  
Skull Kid: Nutin' Just havin' some brewed Mr. Poogles, watchin' the women's soccer game...  
  
Malon: True, True...  
  
Saria: WHAT'YOU DOIN'?  
  
Ruto: WHAT'YOU DOIN'?  
  
Poe: WHAT' YOU DOIN'?  
  
Link: *from inside pie* WHAZZUP???  
  
Mikau: WHAZZUP???  
  
Kafei: WHAZZUP????  
  
Anju: *with tongue sticking out* AAAAAHHHHHHH  
  
Postman: *with tongue sticking out* AAAAAHHHHHHH  
  
Deku Stick:*with tongue sticking out* AAAAAHHHHHHH  
  
Skull Kid: Do deku sticks have tongues? *with tongue sticking out* AAAAAHHHHHHH  
  
Everybody minus Cerena: WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZ-  
  
*Everybody gets a pie in their face, courtesy of Cerena*  
  
Everybody minus Cerena: HEY!!!  
  
Cerena: I still haven't gotten rid of my writer's blocks, yet...  
  
*At the mention of 'writer's blocks', Darunia starts bawling*  
  
Saria: He sounds an awful lot like that Goron baby....  
  
*Everybody stares at Darunia*  
  
Kafei: You-You don't think???  
  
Goron Baby: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Goron Baby + Darunia: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*The goron baby gets thrown out the window, and another writer's block lands on Darunia*  
  
Cerena: The point of this party is  
  
Everybody: THERE ABSOLUTELY IS NO POINT!!!  
  
Cerena: Actually, for once in Skull Kid's life, there is a point.  
  
Zelda: *walks in* HEY!!! Is this the right place? *sees Cerena* AAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!  
  
Cerena: SKULL KID!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVITE HER!! *chases Skull kid with tooth pick*   
  
Skull Kid: But I didn't!! The invitation was supposed to be for Mido!!  
  
Mido: *inside pie* OHHH!! I'M SO CUTE!! (la la la) *Cerena sticks a pair of headphones over Mido'sears, and plays a recording of Skull Kid singing 'Oops I Did It Again',and Mido's brain explodes*  
  
Zelda: I got my invitation from the mailman!!  
  
*Everybody stares at the mailman, who conveniantly is drunk and is singing 'Yellow Submarine'*  
  
Cerena: GRRR... THIS IS WAR!!!  
  
Zelda: FINE!!  
  
Cerena; FINE!!!  
  
Zelda: FINE!!!  
  
Cerena: FINE!!!  
  
Saria: Uh...Cerena..before Zelda came in, you said there was a point to this party...  
  
Cerena: There was...But SHE STOLE IT!!! *Points at Zelda*  
  
Zelda: DID NOT!!!  
  
Cerena: DID TOO!!!  
  
Zelda: DID NOT!!!  
  
Cerena: DID TOO!!  
  
Zelda: DID NOT!!!  
  
Cerena: DID NOT!!!  
  
Zelda: DID TOO!! Oops...  
  
Cerena: Hah! This time, instead of regular Truth or Dare, we will play 'World Domination Truth or Dare Team play, Winner takes All'!  
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Malon:..To quote the ugly fish boy-  
  
Mikau: HEY!!!  
  
Malon: "Well, dudettte, how do we play?"  
  
Cerena: Zelda and I will pick teams. When it is her turn, she will pick one person from my team and ask them 'Truth or dare?'; same rules apply to me. Winner gets to rule Hyrule!!  
  
Saria: AND I GET TO BE SAGE OF CHEESE!!!  
  
Ruto: whatever.  
  
*Cerena and Zelda go to opposite sides of the room.*  
  
Cerena: I pick Skull Kid!!!  
  
Zelda: I pick...Link!!!   
  
Link: *from pie* WHAAZZUPPP!!!  
  
Cerena: *sees everybody's mouths opening* You start, you die.  
  
*Everybody's mouths promptly close*  
  
Cerena: Malon.  
  
Zelda: Mikau.  
  
Cerena: Saria.  
  
Zelda: Kafei.  
  
Cerena: ...The wierd demented guy from the windmill.  
  
Weird Demented Guy From the Windmill: Up, down, touch the ground....ROUNDROUNDROUNDROUNDROUND!! BWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Zelda: Mailman. *The drunk mailman gets up, and accidently shuts himself in the oven*  
  
Cerena: Still counts. Poe.  
  
Zelda: Ruto.  
  
Cerena: Jabu-Jabu.  
  
*And it goes on for hours*  
  
---4 hours later-----  
  
Cerena: Deku stick.  
  
Zelda: Ball of lint.  
  
Saria: Can we start now?   
  
Cerena: Sure!!  
  
*A coin is tossed, but it was Skull Kid's double-headed nickel, so Cerena won (Did you honestly think Zelda would win? I pity you.)*  
  
Cerena: Hm.... Link, truth or dare?  
  
Link: Truth.  
  
Skull Kid: You're a girl.  
  
Link: Why, how did you know?  
  
*Everybody stares at Link*  
  
Saria: Well, that sort of explains why he wears skirts...  
  
Link: TUNICS!!!  
  
Cerena: Link...Are you a...girl?  
  
Link: Yep. I tried to hide it at first, but when you guys dressed me up as a girl at our last party, I realized it was time to get in touch with my feminine side... *Gets up and starts to sing 'I feel Like A Woman'*  
  
Zelda: I VOTE LINK OFF!!! I VOTE HIM..er...HER OFF!!!  
  
Everybody: NO way!   
  
Cerena: This ought to be interesting...  
  
Zelda: CERENA!!!  
  
Cerena:No! You're supposed to pick someone on my team!!  
  
Skull Kid: *under his breath* Good thing Zelda can't tell that you are just making the rules up as you go along...  
  
Zelda: SKULL KID!!!  
  
Skull Kid: AAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!! *faints*  
  
Cerena: No luck. Pick someone else.  
  
Zelda: Malon! Truth or Dare?  
  
Malon: Sometimes, I wonder why it's not 'Lie or Dare'? You don't know that the person is completely telling the truth... Truth is bad... Truth is VERY bad for your health... It gave me a heart attack once...   
  
Zelda: TRUTH OR DARE?!?!  
  
Malon: I DEFY TRUTH!!!!  
  
Zelda: Alright, dare...   
  
Malon: I DEFY DARE!!!  
  
Zelda: DO YOU DEFY YOUR DESTINY?!?!  
  
*Skull Kid watch Zelda and Malon rat it out*  
  
Skull Kid: This is HIGHLY amusing...  
  
*Skull Kid takes one look at Link, who is putting on make-up and a dress, and goes unconcious again*  
  
Malon: FINE!  
  
Zelda; FINE!  
  
Malon; FINE!  
  
Zelda: TRUTH OR DARE?!?!?  
  
Malon:...  
  
Zelda: I'm waiting...  
  
Malon: *takes out an axe* DIE!!!!  
  
Zelda; AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ruto: You guys... Mikau and I have an announcement to make...  
  
*Everyone ignores the fishy couple*  
  
Cerena: Hey!! That's my malet!!!  
  
Saria: This is scarring....  
  
Ruto: HELLO?!?! *grabs Kafei and kisses him*  
  
*Everybody expects Anju to rat on Ruto*  
  
Anju: What? ...he... and I divorced!!!  
  
Poe: You mean Kafei?  
  
Anju: *turns as purple as Kafei's hair* NO!!! NOT THE NAME!! KILL THE NAME!!!   
  
Cerena: Okkaaaaaaayyy...  
  
Anju: *conitnues ranting* THE NAME IS BAD!!! VERY BAD!!!  
  
Ruto: I HAVE A BABY!!!  
  
*Everybody drops what they are doing to stare at Ruto*  
  
Skull Kid:But...our last party...was..only a ...month ago...  
  
Ruto: Everybody, I'd like you to meet Jabu-Jabu the 5th! *She takes out a HUGE fish*  
  
Saria: EEEKKK!!!   
  
*Everybody hides*  
  
Ruto: He..hello?  
  
Mikau; Like, where did everybody go?  
  
Zelda: This is a lame party! What is the point?  
  
Cerena and Skull Kid: Glad you asked!!!  
  
*All of the lights go out, except for one,which shines on Cerena and Skull Kid*  
  
Cerena: Prepare to get your butt kicked!!  
  
Skull Kid: Double that, and you get two people who are pretty ticked!!  
  
Cerena: *whispers to Skull Kid* I'm not ticked. Are you?  
  
Skull Kid: *whispers to Cerena* No...but it rhymed...  
  
Cerena: *whispers to Skull Kid* Oh. *says out loud to people* We will become your worst nightmare!!!  
  
Skull Kid: What I say probably won't rhyme, and I don't care!!!   
  
Cerena: *whispers* IT DID RHYME!!!  
  
Skull Kid: Geez.  
  
Cerena: Guess who?  
  
Everybody: VOLDEMORT!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!  
  
Skull Kid: Luckily, I locked the door and windows...  
  
Cerena: Team...uh...*whispers* what is the name of our team?  
  
Skull Kid: *whispers* Evil?  
  
Cerena: Team Evil will rule Hyrule!  
  
Skull Kid: And then we will have a party in a giant pool!  
  
Zelda: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!  
  
Cerena: I WANT HYRULE!!!  
  
Zelda: NEVER!!!  
  
Cerena: Heheh... Luckily, I got a torture chamber just for you... stand back everybody...  
  
*Everybody except for Zelda dives out of sight*  
  
*Cerena releases Saria's fairy*  
  
Saria's Fairy: HEY HEY HEY!!! IT'S ME!!! DID YA MISS ME?? I BET YOU DID, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE A PSYCHO OR SOMETHING NASt LIKE THAT NOT tO MISS ME!!! LOOK!! WHERE IS EVERYBODY? LISTEN! I LEARNED HOW TO SING!! LA LA LA LA *someone throws a pot at the fairy* HEY!!! WAAAAHHH!!! YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!! NOBODY LIKES MY SINGING!! WAHHH!!!!  
  
Zelda: *curled up* Make it stop, mummie, make it stop...  
  
Cerena: Hehe. Operation HYRULE is a go.  
  
*Cerena bottles Saria's Fairy and pulls out her ear plugs*  
  
Cerena: You guys can come out now...  
  
Everybody: WHAT?!?!?!  
  
Cerena: I SAID YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!!!  
  
Zelda: Nooo....  
  
Cerena: Oh, Skull Kid... EVERYBODY HIDE!!!  
  
Skull Kid: *Starts to sing* ONE HUNDRED BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!!  
  
Zelda: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Skull Kid: *starts to do his deadly hula dance* doo-dee-dah-dee-doo, doo-dah-dee-dah-doo-dee-doo.  
  
*After several hours of torture; mainly Cerena's cooking, Skull Kid's dancing and singing, Anju's mother's stories, Mikau's speech, the windmill guy's rants about life, and countless other things, Zelda breaks in*  
  
Zelda: ALRIGHT!!! YOU CAN HAVE HYRULE!!! JUST STOP SINGING AND DANCING!!!  
  
Everybody: All hail Queen Cerena!!!  
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The End (for Zelda being ruler of Hyrule, that is)  
  
Cerena: I think my first one was funnier...in this one I was high on coffee....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
